Jimquisition

What happens when a videogame turns into The Warriors for children? Robert Patrick gets amazing hair is what! Double Dragon is one of the more curious videogame movies out there, and it's oddly worth watching. Let's see what the Movie Boys have to say about it!

SIR!? SIR, I DO BELIEVE I AM ABOUT TO WRECK THIS! Is Wreck-It Ralph a thinly cloaked champion of the status quo, designed to consolidate the power of the 1% and disenfranchise the rest of us? According to the Movie Boys, yes, Yes it is, We ruined Wreck-It Ralph. Sorry.

A movie in which Billy Zane outclasses Ben Kingsley and Meatloaf steals the show. Uwe Boll's tits n' guts travesty is... quite surreal. Let us enjoy this totally unhinged mess of vampiric nonsense, shall we? It's time for BloodRayne to ruin our day.

It might be the best videogame movie ever made. It might also have a lot of unfortunate implications. It's Mortal Kombat! Why must we mourn Art? Where did Christopher Lambert get his wig? Should Goro have gone out like that? This is a movie with a lot of questions. Let's enjoy!

What does Pokemon: The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back have to say about Adolf Hitler? This is a question your resident Movie Boys have the answer to! Pokemon tears can heal the dead, Minnesota is the link between realities, and Team Rocket just can't deliver the goods. This movie is out of its damn mind.

In what may be their finest outing yet, your Spin-off Doctors skewer Mr. Olyphant's performance as Agent 47 in the ridiculous 2007 Hitman movie. Why doesn't the world's best killer have an alias? How has an Interpol agent pieced together the work of a ghost? Exactly what happened to any of the forgotten characters? Hitman 2007 isn't just a bad movie, it's infuriating.

Raul Julia's amazing performance, Vega's fabulous features, the war crimes of Van Damme, and also Kylie Minogue for some reason. These things and more combine, with some help from DNA MUTAGEN, to make an incredible comedy movie that's just like Rush Hour. Street Fighter: The Movie is a prequel narrative based entirely around clothes. It's brilliant.

Your doctors cut open the carcass of DOOM, discussing the total lack of demons, The Rock's sudden heel turn, and anachronistic videogame products. Oh, and don't worry... we spend quite some time talking about THAT little first-person segment. You know the one.

"You created it all so you could live forever. Why?" Your doctors are in the house to dissect House of the Dead, Uwe Boll's classic cinematic dog turd. Spaniards from Spain, gun continuity, Sega's island raves, and tits within minutes are all on the menu. Alongside some of the crappest zombies ever.

Join your old friends Jim Sterling and Conrad Zimmerman as they get elbow-deep in licensed videogame material. Movies, TV shows, comics (but mostly movies), the doctors are here to examine. This week, we start with 2002's Resident Evil, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and starring Milla Jovovich. She kicked a zombie unconscious.